Green Jelly without Rambo

Current mood: busy

The first thing my Creative Writing instructor wanted us to write. Here we go.

The Three Lil Pigs

Eighteen years. The age that Ma and Pa Pork kick their kids out of the pen. Eighteen years, or was it 18 months, or dare I say weeks. The point is that Mom's nipples are sore, dad is having a midlife crisis about his fate.

Bacon, ham, pork chops, hopefully a seed giver. No matter Dad's fate, the folks have too much on their mind to deal with sharing space with the offspring.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Starship Troopers and How I Learned to Appreciate the 2008 Election.

First off, with all of my anime reviews I'm trying to save before Geocities gets shut down, I've come across a lot of MIDI files used for background music. Since every time I start up Firefox with one of my sites loaded, there is a constant reminder that I better get this midi up before Jarvic Cocker haunts me. He's a weird British Indy guy, so I don't think he knows the difference between live and dead.

So here's a link to Pulp's Disco 2000 in all it's keyboard glory.

Now on to more pressing manners. Fascism, is it as glamorous as Paul Verhoeven's "Starship Troopers", or is Obama right in vetoing the F-22 budget? Or could it be the charismatic president's elaborate scheme to lead us into a Federal world?

As for the F-22, no matter my love for dog fighting movies (reminds me that I have to truly compose my "Iron Eagle IV" review) and the inevitable "Rise of Cobra", there is no reason to believe our fighters need to be updated. The Thunderbirds are still F-16s, the Blue Angels are F-18s, and B-52s have successfully maintained a fear of nuclear holocaust since 1964.

Also, the most effective tanks have been the same since the 70's. Thank you Military Channel's "Top 10 Infantry Vehicle" show. You prevented me from settling on watching horrid Michael Jackson covers.

The point is, the weapons we have are superior to all of our threats, so why try and further brutalize them. They actually may make war less brutal, but you can't say it is okay to not give the guys in the caves a chance to face Mecca and offer one last prayer for 71 virgins and a slut they can study from.

If you want to use new weapons, find a tougher opponent. For someone who loves the science of noble destruction, I am pissed that we haven't encountered "The Rise of the Machines", and the bugs aren't sending asteroids to reinvigorate the human and more importantly the patriotic spirits.


Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Rearchiving Blogs: 9/15/08 - Don Rickles’s Wet Dream

Rain destroyed Dunlap Days, but the temptation of Pumpkin Ale and Blizzards may have been enough to draw people to Morton's Pumkin Festival instead of Peoria's 4th Annual Worldfest.

Finally, this Mortonite had found something to do with the second weekend of September.

Up yours Pumpkin Fest.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Rearchiving Blogs: 6/25/09 - It's a Lou Reed Day

...and it just keeps me holding on

June 25, 2009, good day for the Dead Pool. Sadly, I am not the first to try making a social networking site based around it. Again, stuck forever coming up short. It is sad that Farrah Fawcett passed, but it is pathetic that Jackson has made today all about him. What I mean is, Iranians are still dying, could  you not have kept yourself in better shape to not die when there are people dying for a cause.

The last time we had two celebrities die on the same day that I can recall was Cash and Ritter. We had declared, and believed at that time that the mission was accomplished, so we were free to be pissed that Ritter got all the cover stories despite only having "Three's a Company" and the queer in "Slingblade" to his credit. There is no luxury in these celebrity deaths.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Taking One For Team "Heal the World"

Death, the situation that is the most constant cause of confusion:

• As long as that douche who told us we cannot have slaves isn't the head of the party, it'll be cool to sell out the land that Sherman raped.
• Because Hitler killed a lot of you guys, you get to displace a lot of Muslims.
• Since you guys never pissed us off, you guys in Sudan can ethnically cleanse Darfur.

I'd throw an example about maters, but I may come across as Antisemitic.

Aside from Darfur, we are fortunate that does not affect us on a massive scale...at least until Michael Jackson screwed that shit up.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Resident Evil, Point Break and Why They Make Me Yearn for Anime

Summer 2009:

Some would say with the recent purchase of the Milla Jovovich vehicle "You Stupid Man" and my last three "thank god big sis is in bed, I got be up when?" flicks have been:

1. "Resident Evil"
2. "Resident Evil: Apocalypse" (I like to keep my sequels Russell Mulcahy free)
3. "Point Break" - a film featuring Lori 'What fuck'n reason can prevent her from getting billed ahead of Gary "not Buddy Holly" Busey' Petty

That I am just missing the good times I had with the last girl who tried ruining my life who is not my mother. But I say, it is simply because the American distribution of anime is messed up.

Here are some tweets to support that from http://twitter.com/russthebus

• Can anyone clue me into some great anime? I'd like to expand my late nite DVD selection beyond action movies.
  
• Anime usually promises you action, and even if it doesn't deliver. The good ones will still draw you in.
  
• Like Sailor Moon and Gravitation, the one about the up and coming rock star who discovers his sexuality. Gayest Tweet ever???

In high school, I would d save up what ever money I could mooch of my parents (basically skipping the popcorn and soda when I saw movies with the pals) to save up $30 to watch the next great anime. Most of them were action (I should say bad ass bitches who kick ass and just might get naked), and mecha (action with the awkward high school kid I could relate to), but you see previews before the tapes where animation can just tell mature tales (at least 13 and up).

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

At the Gimmick (Because we can't call them movies)

Artwork needed for "Main Even of the Dead."  1% need not apply.

So, I will hold off on posting my blog about how psychotherapy is a load of bullshit (sorry, it all depends on the therapist), because my indie movie project needs your help.

I had just finished the reinvention of Harshside.com, so now I must move on to MainEventoftheDead.com. So far, I have put $2000 into the my debut feature already. Thus, I can justify paying for a teaser poster for this project.

The website can be created fairly quickly, but it should feature more than text. A lot of productions trying to gain funding on IndieGoGo.com usually feature video of someone trying to sell you on the project, but we know how well I speak pu...pu...publicly. Plus, I am still old school about web design, and hate turning my site into a TV channel.

It is a computer for Christ sake, and who knows, a potential associate producer may only get to view the Internet at work where firewalls would kill the video or even block the site. And I am all about not judging people, so I cannot discriminate against the miserly of those still using dial up.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.