Night Watch - What If Underworld Made Sense?

Damn those douche bags at News Corp. It is not enough that they run Fox New Channel and Weekly World News (that's probably where they get their fair and balance from), but they encourage dubs of live-action films.

Side A - English Wide Screen.
Side B - Russian Wide Screen.

Manipulative pricks! Guess what side I inadvertently had placed down into the player.

Honestly, I cannot blame them for this fine print trap. With the success of the "Underworld" franchise, they needed a product to cash in on the Vampire v. "Choose you own demon" market, and they had to make it accessible to the teens and weirdos who want to be bloodsuckers.

Bloodsuckers who put the film quality behind coolness of premise was the audience 20th Century Fox imported Timur Bekmambetov's "Night Watch (Nochnoy Dozor)", a film that possesses a greater understanding of the hidden world than either of (I've yet to see "Rise of the Lycans") most recent "Underworld" features could hope to have had.

To Len Wiseman, Danny McBride, and Kevin Grevioux credit, they were a year ahead of NW, but could you imagine Kate Beckingsale in a vampire flick where the crew took the time to get it right?

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens