I'd finished the first half of my undead double feature (a colorized version of "Night of the Living Dead" with MST3K's Mike Nelson's commentary track) and was left wondering if I was up for the second half of it. "The Insatiable", a straight to video vampire flick starring Sean Patrick Flanery. It would have been a "Boondock Saints" double header, but 2007's "Moscow Chill" with Norman Reedus has yet to be removed from the new release's wall to the "Rent 2 for $1" shelves at Family Video.
Why am I delving into the realm of Flannery DVDdome? Why not rent the SciFi Channel Original "Kaw"? SciFi involvement does not guarantee potential. Michael "Fucking" Biehn does. Also, I for one does not abandon my generation's Judd Nelson (who I found out will be in "BS2"...I'm a fan but the initials do sum up the original guilty pleasure) and we have a different approach to the vampire genre.
The box made it sound like Audrey 2 all over again, but with horror and the ability to shag the antagonist. This obviously makes it seem more interesting that the overrated "Little Shop of Horrors (1986), and reminds me why I'm a bigger fan of Michael Crichton's "WestWorld" than "Jurassic Park". Dinosaurs are cool, but they won't get me laid.
So I was pumped at the concept of feeding a sexy vampire (Charlotte Ayanna, the victim in "Jawbreaker"), but during my intermission I found out that "The Boondock Saints 2" was in the can, I am worried that I may end up giving Flanery Milla Jovovich regard, thus a higher standard for the B+Movie (or A-...it's quality is better than THE TRUE B-Movies).
Th!nkFilm please: STOP THE DECEPTIVE BOX ART!!!
Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.
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9 years ago
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