Hellboy 2: 2 Much or 2 Short

The Next Terminator has to be John Cena, Ron Perlman, or Dwayne Johnson. But does he have to be white or off white?

And that's how you incorporate background noise into your opening statement. Why waste that one as a tweet?

It sucks going from a clever moment to a shameful confession. If it was not an American production, I hadn't seen Guillermo del Toro's work. There is no good reason. My only excuse is when it comes to DVDs for $9 at Wal-Mart, I have a tendency to buy brain rot.

"Ultraviolet", "Saw III", "The Marine", you get the picture (and I get a way to rap this review around). I wasn't trying to decay my gray matter, I just didn't want to think. For this I felt cowardly. Del Torro's work intimidates me if there is no Ron Perlman present. If I hadn't watched "Amelie" with my ex, the same would go for Caro and Jeunet.

Now, did I like "Blade II" and "Hellboy"? The answer is yes. His vision of Blade may have been to elaborate for a martial arts action movie, but the biggest flaws were made by the writer David S. Goyer.

How can you waste the talent of Norman Reedus ("The Boondock Saints"), Danny John-Jules ("Red Dwarf"), and Tony Curran ("Underworld: Evolution")? Will any American use Donnie Yen properly?

Del Toro may have been limited with Blade II because that was not his world. His style was too contrasting. He was able to nail Hellboy because America really wanted him to do the movie. After the success of "Pan's Labyrinth", a film that seems to be all about its imagery, his stock rose again, but this may not have been a good thing for "Hellboy II: The Golden Army."

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.